How to Help Your Teen Daughter With Their Body Image, in a World that is Obsessed With Skinny

You just have to be on social media for a second to notice that skinny culture is back in fashion. Maybe it is due to the enormous increase in GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic , maybe it’s to do with the rising popularity of 2000s fashion (hello OG skinny culture), and of course….the influence of social media. Whatever the reason, skinny is back and it sucks.

Over the past decade, so much body-image work has been done by women, a journey towards body-positivity or body neutrality. Of celebrating our bodies no matter what they look like, and acknowledging that our bodies are the least interesting part of us! And it kind of breaks my heart that this skinny resurgence has come at a time when my teen daughter is 14 - an age that is perhaps the most vulnerable in terms of self-esteem

This is what I am doing to guide my own teen and the teens I support through my teen yoga groups:

1. Be curious

Ask your teen what they have noticed on social media about body trends and if they have noticed celebrities & influencers talking about ‘skinny drugs’. This can be a really triggering conversation for us parents if you have your own body image issues, so try to acknowledge that, be gentle with yourself, approach it with curiosity rather than judgment. Getting angry or defensive is a sure-fire away to get your teen to shut down.

You could try asking, “I’m curious what your algorithm shows you on TikTok – have you noticed anything about Ozempic or people losing a lot of weight fast? How do you feel about it?” Talk to your teen about what effect they think this skinny trend has on teen body image - do they think it is likely to make them or their friends change the way they eat or exercise?

2. Help your teen be a critical thinker

Sit down with your teen and look through their social media together. Have open, honest conversations about what you see and help her to understand that many of the trends are manufactured by multinational companies to make money. Talk about the algorithm, talk about the patriarchy, talk about why our bodies are the least interesting part about us.

Help her to ask questions, to not accept things at face-value, and to dig down and understand WHY something is happening.

3. Be kind to YOURself, so she can be kind to HERself

When you talk about yourself (or others), do you talk about yourself in a critical way? Do you say you need to lose weight, or you have to ‘earn’ a treat? You may not even realize you are doing these things because they are so ingrained in us, but your teen is watching.

Show your teen that you can accept or love your body at every size, and that it is 100% natural and normal for our bodies to change over time.

When giving someone a compliment, change from “you lost weight!” to “you look so happy”. Your teen will feel the difference, believe me.

4. Strong not skinny

Let’s get back to focusing on what our bodies can DO, not on what they LOOK like. Talk to your teen about strong female athletes like Ilona Maher, the Williams’ sisters and Simone Biles - all strong, confident, incredible women.

Help your teen focus on how their body feels, and what it can do for them, rather than what it looks like. Help them to improve their body image by encouraging moving their bodies because it makes them feel good, not because they need to punish themselves for eating something ‘bad’.

Let your teen see YOU focusing on what your body can do for you, and they will follow.

5. Educate your teen about GLP-1 medications

By the way, no shade on anyone who is using GLP-1 medications to lose weight. I think for the right reasons and in the right context, these medications can be life-changing. However, we need to help our teenage girls (and boys, but our girls are especially vulnerable to the skinny culture) understand what these medications really are, and that they are not a magic fix for insecurities.

While the medications do help many people to lose weight and lead healthier lives, the fact that their popularity has coincided with the rise in "skinny culture" is worrying for this generation of teens, and the effects this can have on their  mental health.

Educate your teens that these medications are not designed for teens without a medical need, and that they come with significant side effects.

7. Build an emotional toolbox together

Help your teen to develop ways to regulate their emotions, and feel better about themselves. This can look like yoga, meditation, journaling, mindfulness, therapy, or talking to an adult or trusted friend.

When we are emotionally disregulated we often try to control the hings that can be controlled, AKA our bodies or our eating. So help your teen find ways to deal with the challenging feelings that come up in life, like anxiety, social pressure, and low self-esteem, in healthy ways.

Raising teens in a world that is obsessed with how we look is not easy, but we CAN be the supportive, empowering voice they need in this loud world. We can help them to question the status-quo, we can help them to respect their bodies and we can help them to know that they are worth so much more than just their body.