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How Do I Cope As A New Mom?

Updated: Jul 20, 2020

You’re a new mum.

You just birthed (or welcomed) an incredible bundle of joy.

This baby is yours.

They depend on you for everything.

And they are so perfect.

It is equal parts absolutely incredible and absolutely terrifying!

I understand the feelings of terror, utter sleep exhaustion, not feeling good enough, anxiety, depression, questioning yourself…sometimes you barely feel like you’re keeping your head above water. 

Just. Putting. One. Foot. In. Front. Of. The. Other.

And what’s worse is that everyone is saying “enjoy this time - it goes so quickly”, and “these are such precious times, you’ll never get it back”. So not only are you struggling, but now you feel guilty that you’re struggling and not enjoying every second. 

What I want to say to you is: 




Stop thinking about what everyone else is telling you to do, and look inside yourself. Mama - you really do know the answers, your gut is talking to you, you just have to trust and listen. 

Put everyone else on mute (especially the judgey ones), and turn up the sound on your own intuition.

This is what mindfulness is, and it doesn’t have to be super complicated.

Take it from a mama of 3 who has accepted and welcomed mindfulness & meditation into her life in a very do-able way - it doesn’t have to be hard, and it doesn’t have to take hours, or even several minutes.

Mindfulness is really about focusing on the present moment with acceptance, in a non-judgmental way. It’s about connecting to our body, and all of our senses. It is about listening and trusting. Something that you NEED right now in your fourth trimester.

This mental switch from listening externally to listening internally has SO many magical, unicorn benefits, ones that will benefit you as a new mama tremendously…

  • Eases depression & anxiety

  • Reduces stress

  • Helps you to improve your sleep *quality* (quality over quantity at this point right?!)

  • Can help lower your blood pressure

  • Improves your immune system

  • Changes the pathways in your brain, to improve memory (peace out mum brain!)

  • Improves your focus

  • Helps to ease pain

And if you’re thinking…but how the heck do I fit 1 more thing in my life right now?! Here are 3 ways to incorporate mindfulness into things you are already doing as a new parent:

Take a breathing break. Breathing is something we all do, just usually completely unconsciously. It  is one of *the* most important things in life, and if you can improve this one thing, you will change so much. 

Start by focusing on your breathing every time you change your baby’s diaper, or every time you sit down to feed them. Creating a habit like this makes it so much easier to incorporate into your life, and you don’t have to think about it.

Try this breath technique, it’s my absolute favorite and can be used throughout your day to center yourself, and bring yourself back from feelings of stress and anxiety.

Breathe in through your nose for the count of four

Hold your breath for the count of four

Exhale through your nose for the count of four

Hold for the count of four

Continue this breathing pattern for 2 minutes, and feel how your body visibly relaxes, your neck feels loser, your shoulders relax and you stop clenching your jaw.

Nature Walk. If you are able to, try to get out into nature every day. This doesn’t have to be going to the forest or the beach - it can be sitting in the garden, and feeling the grass beneath your feet. It can be taking a different route on your walk to incorporate more trees or fields. 

Spending time in nature has been found to help with mental health problems including anxiety & depression, and being outside in natural light can help improve your mood.

Walking in nature can be extremely grounding, which is super helpful if you are experiencing any type of postpartum anxiety or depression. A simple exercise that you can do is to go for a walk in nature, and just focus on your senses. 

What can you hear? 

What can you see? 

What can you feel? 

What can you smell? 

When your mind wanders (which it will…you are a human being!), just keep bringing your attention back to the 5 senses, and breathe deeply.

Try to do this a few times a week, but if it doesn’t happen…give yourself grace!

Brushing your teeth

Take an everyday task that you already do (we don’t need to be adding in extra things here!) and commit to fully being in that moment for 1-2 minutes. 

Take brushing your teeth for example. Instead of thinking about your to-do list, all the things that could happen to your baby, freaking out about breastfeeding - give yourself a break from that mental chatter.

Become fully involved in brushing your teeth.

Again, focus on your 5 senses - touch, smell, see, hear, taste.

How does the toothbrush feel against your teeth and your gums? 

How does the brush feel in your hand? 

How does the toothpaste taste? 

What can you smell? 

What can you hear? 

What can you see?

Your senses work together to ground you, and connect you to the present moment and what is happening in your body. Getting into this habit makes it so much easier to access it when you need it the most.

Above all, I want you to give yourself grace. Know that this is a season for you and your baby, no-one else. Trust your gut, give yourself the gift of slow, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You got this, mama.

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